growing up, you realise how life is really all in your hands.
you always have the choice.
and really, how your life turns out is mostly cause of your decisions.

so this is the year i hit the big 2.
i know, i might sound like im one of those kids who are really young but talk as if they are so old.
but the truth is, I honestly feel like i have learnt so much beyond my years.
maybe i was gifted to have the experiences and opportunities i have thus far.
and i hope that i truly have chosen wisely so far.

so today was actually my results day for sem 2 in university.
so fast and yet another year has past by and i cant believe im no longer a freshman.
i am satisfied with my results but to know that i have worked really hard and still not get stellar achievements is kind of worrying.
i wonder how much harder i have to work to get to where i dream off.
i know that i am not pushing myself as hard as i could because somehow i lack that motivation.
i keep telling myself that what im doing is fine and i dont have to push myself to that discomfort zone if i can already be happy with what i have.
i guess this stems from the fact that i don't really have a goal in mind.
but i do know that i do not want to limit myself of options.
and i guess this shall be my motivation from hereon.
it sure helps that he is coming uni this year and now we'll be able to study together.
so at least i'll be spending more time studying and hopefully i'll get even better grades next sem.

growing up is scary.
but that is the thing about life.
you never do feel prepared enough.
but you just have to do it.
you go on headon and pray you do your best.
you can never be fully prepared for what lays ahead of you no matter how much you have read up or practiced.
cause no situations are ever completely the same.
and your reactions may never be exactly the same either.
a tinge of surprise or shock can ultimately change how the whole things spans out.
and all you can do is hope you dealt with it in the best way possible.
i think so far in my life i have been doing a fine job.
and sure i am excited as to what else my life would throw me in the future.
it is a huge challenge when i think of the fact that in 10 years, i would be married, have a house and maybe even a child.
i certainly am not prepared for any of these.
but i sure am going head on.