so here's to another year.
one year older and hopefully wiser.

so yes, the start of this year definitely wasn't fantastic.
at all.
in fact it was the total opposite.
it was downright horrible.
but i realised that is okay.
cause one day doesn't determine how the rest of the year is going to span out.
and well sometimes shit happens.
but it is up to you whether you want to get over that shit or just be drowned in that crap.

so looking forward.
i'd love to make some new year resolutions.
and this time, to really stick by it.
make some goals for myself.
so here goes:
-to be grateful for the wonderful boyfriend i have. if anything i have learnt over this episode of horrendous events, it is that he would be my constant and that i can depend on him. so i have to learn how to treasure him more and make him feel his worth.
-to be more studious. no more of telling myself that im tired and that another time to revise would come. doing that brought me dismal results for my last semester so yes, i have to pull up my socks and spend some serious time studying. though the journey is going to be tiring as hell, it would be so worth it when the results shows. just like how A-levels felt for me. i need to get back that elation that was infinite.
-to argue with people less. i never really told myself to do this but this year i will. cause what is the point of arguing so much with people if it ends up in hurt feelings and broken relationships? so nope, this year i would be more giving. more tolerant of others opinions and less judgemental. cause after all, each of us just wants to find our own happiness in this world, so why stop that?
-to be dedicated to whatever i pursue. so yes i know that for this year i have taken up quite a fair bit. and i might be kicking myself in the butt for maybe biting off more than i can chew. but i will remain steadfast by all that i have promised to deliver and hopefully i would make everyone proud and never regret for having me in that position or team.

i dont want to be ambitious and rather realisitic.
so for 2015, it'll be these 4 goals.
i know its hard to stick by it but i really hope this year would be different.
and of course, i hope i dont fuck up so much this year.
2014 was full of fuck ups cause of really bad judgement and i was just not strong.
i have to be stronger.
i have to grow.
and so i shall.

cheers to the wonderful year ahead.