cause after every storm there comes a rainbow.
that beacon of hope that you hopelessly cling onto.
cause without it, you would be nothing more than a mere soul wandering the earth.

i thank god a million times that things are so much better now.
i thought it was going to be bleak and hopeless but somehow i got the courage to fight.
to fight for what i want and to live the way i do.
i know its not exactly completely back to normal but at least its not far from what it used to be.
i know it takes time to heal some wounds and thats why there's nothing much else i can do but wait.
i can only prove myself with time to come cause empty words are never any consolation.

we had a spate of fights but i guess thats cause i lost sense of what i was doing.
what i wanted from us.
what i wanted from life.
i was so caught up in my little fantasies that i forgot about the present.
i forgot that no matter how much we can plan for life, sometimes life has other plans for us.
and we shouldnt deny it, we should embrace it.
cause everything happens for a reason, doesnt it?
but my vision was blurred and now its clearer.
and i can tell it is doing much good.
i like this now.
i wanna stay this way forever with you.

i realise im a person who thinks alot.
but sometimes it comes off wrong.
i shy away from the thought of being a particular way but in that process i inevitably become that monster.
but of course ive got no one to blame.
this is my life and its my decisions that led me to where i am.
i fought for what i want and i have to pay for the consequences for it.
but at least happier having what i want than living without it in compliance to the decisions set upon me.
i cant live that way.
its my life and i dont want someone else to live it for me.
cause i know one day i'll look back into the past and i'll regret for living my life according to others.
at least if i took the decision, i wouldnt regret it cause i know it was my own decision and not imposed on me.
i'll live by it no matter where it takes me.
took me a lot of courage to realise its not easy to step up for yourself.
but sometimes you just have to.
sometimes life's hardest decisions are the ones that changes your whole life.
changes your whole perspective on which way your life goes and changes you as a being.
i feel more fearless, more happy, more complete.
i feel like there is something for me to keep going.
rather than those empty hollow days where i spent hours wondering what the hell im doing going on this way.
i really am much happier now.
i really do thank god because the reactions turned out to be better than what i feared.
but above all, i thank my inner soul for giving me the strength to take the risk.
the strength to stand up for myself.
the strength to live.

cause no matter where life takes me,
i just hope you'll be by my side.
even if you arent, i know i wouldnt have regretted it.
cause while you stayed, you brightened up my days.
you kept me smiling and you gave me a reason to believe.
though you may not understand me totally like the way i think,
at least you understand how much i love you.
and how much im willing to go with you.
cause i believe everything is possible.
and so are we.