cause after a while you realise everything.
and then you appreciate what you have.

got an interesting thought stuck in my head ever since he brought it up.
one that definitely matters to me.
when i really mull about it, i'm glad that i'm here and not there.
just imagining how i would be like...its scary.
its like all of this had to happen to make me the happier person that i am.
and it gives me another reason to believe.
to make me realise that whatever decisions i have made thus far, it is worth it.
and i don't ever want to lose this.
all along i've been thinking that this year hasnt been much for me in growing myself.
i didn't feel like i learnt any life changing experiences.
what i didn't know is that i was slowly changing who i am.
and then i have to take a step back and do a reality check.
its only then you realise how far you've come and how different you could have been.
i am more than thankful that he did bring it up.
though of course with it, the fear of who i used to be.
and how scary it is that i could have been the person i despise utterly.
i didn't want to be that girl but that could have been very possible.
i just needed to make a different decision.
just one.
and everything would have changed.
mindblown.

i guess its situations like these that make you realise how important making a decision is.
and i guess it also shows how important it is sometimes to follow your intuition.
and yet again, to learn to appreciate where you stand today.
cause one different choice could have resulted in a drastically different life.
literally.
the entirety of this just makes me stand in awe at how sometimes the world makes things happen for a reason.
it makes me learn that i am a significant present.
i do make a difference.
and the choices i make does leave an impact both on myself and others.
i realise how important i am.
and that maybe i am not that insignificant.
that maybe its time to start believing in myself.
and to believe that someone really does care.


blown into the past by the harsh winds of experience.
the familiar roads i take seem so cold now.
the hollow soul and vacant eyes is all i see.
where i once seek comfort, i now feel wrath.
i summon all my energy and power within.
to open my eyes once again and live another day.
and this time, its beautiful.