walk the pathway less travelled.
discover things you didn't know about yourself.

okay so im starting to feel pretty nervous for my presentation tomorrow.
i mean i know i should do well but looking at how so many other people are doing it too it kind of sets of some nerves of mine.
i dont know why.
but i just cant wait for it to be over and finally celebrate.
already can see that moment.
somehow i feel unprepared though i dont know what else i can do already.
i gave it my best and i know i gave the most.
so hell yeah i believe i should get what i deserve.
i just pray to god that tmr, i dont fuck up.
please no.

so its only when my phone screen cracked that i realised how attached i got to that phone.
and how reliant i got it.
you could say i kinda feel handicapped without it.
it was the one thing that made me feel comfortable and now i constantly feel something amiss without it.
it feels like im talking about a person but it meant that much to me.
not being materialistic or obsessed over phones.
just that that one phone brought me through some of my life's best moments and i got so used to having it.
really wish it can be repaired.
that's when i realise the magnitude of the saying "you never know the value of something until its gone"
i mean i know i have experienced it before.
but i guess i kinda needed a reminder again just to show me how much it actually means.
i do appreciate everyone around me but sometimes i guess i dont quite show it the best way possible.
as i look back now i realise i really do have nothing to complain about.
my life hasnt been this calm in a very long time and im so grateful for it.
sure drama does perk up your life and make it interesting.
but the feelings that come along and the hurt you have to bear makes it not worth it in the end.
i rather just lead this life filled with simplicy and make myself happy from time to time with small gratifications.
im thankful for all that i have right now.
i really am.
i guess the reason for all this calm-ness too is because the way i view things has most definitely changed.
i find it so easy now to just have an answer for a situation though it might not be the best but at least its something believable.
i dont scrutinize things as much as i did back then and that has greatly changed the way things work out for me.
i most definitely think lesser.
that is like the biggest milestone ever.
it really wasnt easy.
trust me.

so i've been trying to lose weight again.
doing all these exercises that he has planned out for me.
i really hope it works though i know its not as effective without me controlling my food.
but well what can i say.
im a sucker for good food.
i just really have to find that determination in me once again to avoid all temptations, as hard as they may be, just so as to lose that layer of fats and achieve my bikini body.
go loges.

i should probably go to sleep now.

rest your eyes and may your soul sleep endlessly,
forgetting life's worries and embracing only entities.
may the little whispers surround you and carry you home,
surviving the depths of hollow emptiness where once your spirit roam.