its too cold outside for angels to fly.

and now all i can do is wait.
sure sucks to not feel confident of myself.
but i already did all that i could and thinking of how much i sacrificed, i really wouldnt know what to do if i get the undesired.
but all i can do is wait.

it keeps eroding away my insides.
eating me up whole and leaving no part of me spared.
i want it all to go away.
to feel good.
to forget and forgive as easy as it is said.
but i cant.
i think.
i dwell.
i wish.
and i always wonder "what if".
i know thats not helping me one bit but its become so natural of me to do this to myself.
feel that insignificant.
sucks to feel that you are more into it than he is.
i dont want to know if its true though.
the truth might just tear me apart.
i feel like ive been getting more fragile.
maybe its cause i keep looking back to those days when life was just like a dream and nothing could possibly go wrong.
when i was still believing that we could be different.
that we could be that way every single day of our lives.
that we were special.
and then when i realise how much things are different now i just cant help wishing.
maybe i shouldnt be.
but i do.
and i cant stop now.

i just need a reminder that it still is the same.
that i still can believe.