forget it all and become blank.
cause nothing matters in the end.

i need the will to keep going.
i never knew it could be this exhausting.
honestly, this is the first time i feel like giving up in the middle of it.
i know its crazy but im going crazy anyway.
just 2 more days.
2 more days.

i honestly never felt that much of disappointment after an exam.
not because im sure to fail but rather cause i worked my ass off but i know im not going to score.
i wanted to, i really gave it my all.
thinking back of the amount of practise i did, i think i was insane.
so i guess its natural for me to feel this way.
but that sure was such an awesome way to start of the exam week.
yippee.
fuck this shit.

as i sit there, i just feel like dropping my pen and bolting out the door.
away from all that's driving me nuts and making me turn into this lifeless robot.
making me feel like there is nothing more to add on to my life.
nothing that is making me feel like im growing.
nada.
and all the emotional stress this has put on me definitely caused  my mood swings to give whip lashes.
i always feel guilty for doing so but at the same time i just feel so annoyed.
its like every little thing triggers me off though all the sensible cells in my body are screaming at me to stay calm.
ironical much.

okay i've got to do this.
one more to do for tonight and then its just 2 more days of hell.
embrace yourself.