its a wonder how much it empowers me.
yet at the same time, how much it can shadow over me and swallow my presence.
till its absolute silence and nothing is left behind.

time to rekindle some old flames.
but not in the context of what it sounds.
i guess maybe i do need to start doing some things to figure myself out better.
well lets see how this goes.

i love getting into deep talks with you.
you can always give me a new perspective of things.
and give me a reason to think but not the type that makes me end up hurting myself.
sadly its hard to hold such a conversation with you.
but im not going to dwell on that cause i know i'll just end up doing all the comparisons and shit.
maybe you're right.
i do have too high expectations.
but i've been trying for a very long time.
maybe i need to start giving people a chance.
being more optimistic and stop remembering all those haunting moments.
sometimes it gets to a point where the fragile line between reality and my thoughts get blurred and i end up ultimately confused and lost.
i should stop doing that.
i probably told myself that a million times.
but i just never seem to listen.
goddammit.

so i decided its no longer just a love story.
its no more just a guy and a girl.
cause life just isnt that simple no matter how much we want it to be.
and maybe that way, my thoughts have a chance of becoming reality.
all that i've feared can become known.
it becomes written out right in front of me so that i can tear it down.
and live fearless.