stop the deafening silence, its killing me.

so have i been going crazy?
physically, most definitely.
mentally, i still cant predict.
the ankle has been getting better though of course the saturday performance aggravated it.
but of course, im not allowed to complain.
not allowed to whine about it.
i just have to keep going on because the consequences of my actions would be harder to control.
and definitely dancing after that period caused awful muscle aches.
and the fall didnt help either.
but keep that mouth shut and do what you have to do.

sad to say, i didnt feel the ecstasy i always felt when i burned to dance.
 maybe its cause of the pain.
or maybe im just losing it.

doing all this work is just making me nuts.
where's the break that i deserve?
oh right, i dont get it.
because what i do is just never enough.

life's special moments must always be cherished.
and of all people, especially so for me.
i always enjoyed that cheap thrill of celebrating a special occasion on that special day itself.
but now.
who i am to blame?

overwhelmed.
thats all ive got say.



the silence she used to run away from,
has now become her valiant saviour.
the company she used to get effortlessly,
is impossible to get when she needs it the most.
all odds turn against her.
when will this be over?
or is it like a permanent scar.
there to stay, there to suffer.
she tells herself she needs to survive,
to stay strong and brave this weather.
quietly praying, let this be over.