it was those three words that saved my life.
and the week starts all over again.
you can survive it Loges.
sometimes i feel like such a lazy ass.
but i just cant seem to offer myself enough motivation.
work on that.
was having yet another self battle today.
i tell you one day i just might go crazy from it all.
tearing out my hair like a psychopath.
shut in a mental institution.
so vivid.
i couldnt help feeling that you were not putting as much effort as i was.
and you dont even seem to notice it.
i dont know if its just you being ignorant.
or if you might actually find me to be clingy.
god i hope its not the latter.
i've had way too many instances of being labelled so.
and so i was thinking well maybe i shouldnt try so hard.
but i dont know.
i just cant stop myself from wanting to do all that i can.
i just really wished you would too.
on the train ride back i started thinking about how we started.
and i relived all those exhilarating moments i experienced.
you seemed to take much more effort then.
to make me believe that you werent just fooling around with me.
but you actually meant what you did.
it reminded me of how sweet a guy you can get to be.
and somehow i cant help but expect something from you.
like a surprise or an appreciative gesture.
i dont know.
i know i should reduce my expectations and be contented with what i have.
i tell myself that all the time.
but i guess im just human after all and i cant quite help feeling that way.
i should focus on doing my work right now.
but so many other things are shouting at me for attention.
my head is so cluttered with thoughts it seems like im having a brain failure.
i just feel like detaching myself from it all and go on a seriously indulging retail therapy.
please save me.
she stood there.
waiting.
her eyes filled with what she wanted him to know.
yet her tongue remained in knots.
she pleaded and begged silently.
but all went unnoticed.
in a last attempt she pulled away.
praying for those arms to curl around her and pull her into him.
but instead she felt the opaque air building up around her.
and it engulfed her till she could no longer breathe.
she turns around to catch a whisper of his presence.
but just like the wind that whips at her heart,
he is gone.
