i just want to give you a reason to smile again.
alright so the dreaded results are finally over.
well i guess i did moderately.
i am satisfied, but i cant say im over the moon.
i mean yeah i was that close to what i really wanted but at least i didnt land off too far.
i have no regrets but i do wonder how i got some of my grades.
performed better at some and worse than expected at others.
but thank god for english and higher tamil.
right now im really confused where i should go.
so many different voices in my head.
but i'll have to figure out real soon i guess.
doesnt help that i've a mum who wants me to apply by tomorrow.
sheesh.
alright so the year has kicked off with a relatively good start.
cant believe i am going to a new school and going to meet new people.
already there is some drama to the 2012 but what the heck whats a life without those rumours.
but hooray me guess what i dont give a fuck.
and i like that feeling.
like seriously talk what you want to but i know i didnt do anything wrong or even that stupid.
if this was me like 2 years ago i would broken down like hell.
but yeah baby im not affected.
okay so im gonna have to seriously work around time this year.
i mean it was inevitable that we'll be going different schools.
guess i just didnt want to face it but yeah now its like a smack in the face.
we could always work our way around our schedules.
i could go over to study!
hell im sure we'll figure something out.
for now, i'll just grab whatever chance i can get.
i dont want to lose this.
not now.
never.
yeah i dont believe in forever anymore.
and when i hear 'for life' and all those i know its so phony.
but i know at this instant i really want to go on for as long as i can.
and i mean that.
i know i disappointed my sis a little.
but she's doing a goddamn good job at covering it up.
that just makes me love her more.
my parents seem happy.
surprisingly my dad is the one who's more into the yay mood.
i know better results would have made my mum happier but i know i got her approval.
i mean yeah it would have been awesome to give them results that makes them faint.
well at least i know i made them proud.
man right now i really dont know what to feel.
one moment you seem alright and the next you dont!
worst part of it all is that i have no freaking idea what to say to make things better.
i just dont really know how to handle you.
i was always afraid of this.
well actually i was always afraid of when you get angry.
but you being upset isnt much better.
i hope things turn round tmr.
