reminiscing.
right now i really wish you were here.
feels just like yesterday when it happened.
i still remember the ecstacy i felt.
its too vivid.
i even remember i had to go to the toilet before my sister caught me smiling like a fool to myself.
amazed by what had just happened.
and stunned into disbelief.
i clearly remember i couldnt believe that it was happening to me.
inside of me i literally screamed "omg omg omg".
but it was all real.
my movie life was a reality for that moment.
it was just about an hour ago.
and then the flood of messages came in.
i still couldnt believe you did that.
in a matter of just minutes, we changed.
it was a whole new level.
and one that i was quite unfamiliar with.
even now, i dont know how you did it.
its all too good to be real.
but i cannot tell you how happy i am that you did.
the pure joy.
it can never be replaced.

wondering what you're doing right now.
i wonder if you think about me.
or if you brought it along.
im thinking not cause it would be easily found then.
i wonder if you know im missing you so much.
i've not felt this way in such a long time it actually feels foreign.
and i dont know how to react.
its like i forgot what im supposed to do.
im always guessing things like how you're not the expressive type.
or maybe you're just like me, figuring your way slowly.
less of the expectations is what i need.
but you dont know how much im dying to hear those words from you.
it would really mean the world to me.
but like i said, i dont want to put you in the situation anymore.
i'll just wait for when you truly mean it.
i mean one day or another, you've got to right?
i hope so.
im secretly hoping its soon.

things would have been so much different if you were here.
but then that wouldnt have been your last day.
well we could have met by, as i put it in my terms, coincidence.
a special day with a special someone.
a milestone.
okay not really that big.
but it still means a lot to me (: