Crashing under the weight of deception.
Fuck you.

call me weird but i miss going to school.
miss that whole experience of getting out of bed with half open eyes.
miss taking the train and observing people's mornings.
miss the random drama that happens in school.
miss a routine.
miss going out lunch with the group.
miss talking about everything under the sun with you.
i miss you all )":

its funny how people like new beginnings but i always dread them.
yet another round of first impressions.
of the rumours.
and of the realisation later.
that sucks.
i wonder.
maybe i do need a fresh start.
to see if i've finally broken that vicious cycle.

its funny how my past keeps resurfacing.
even the ones i haven't thought of in ages.
i dont know what is it about me that makes me always end up on the other side.
someone please tell me cause im really clueless.

judgemental human beings.

when you look at the bigger things, you actually realise there's nothing much.
that hollow feeling.
i just cant figure it out.
is it my insecurities acting up?
i can never really tell.

negligence.

one moment you can feel on top of the world but the next you just feel so lonely.
blame it on the moodswings.
yeah.

one accident can change everything.
it changes how people perceive you.
and whatever you did before that doesn't matter anymore.
so it's like you have to constantly be on guard.
you can't risk any mistakes.
people forget the person you were.
you become that spiteful person they never want to get close to.
one accident.
thats all it takes.

when i say i love you, i mean it.
i don't ever want to take you for granted.
trust me.

i've missed you too.

stumbled across a familiar face.
one that's been missing from my life for a long time.
but i dont regret that.
i hope you're doing fine.
though it doesnt seem so i know you'll pull through.

i figured out what was wrong with me.
i was always running away from my past.
but sometimes you just gotta turn behind and face it.
acknowledge it and admit to it.
otherwise you'll always get dragged back into it.
whether you like it or not.

unsaid words and untold feelings always hurt.
but can you handle it?

self-realisation.
funny how you get that through others life experiences.

have no regrets.
life's a journey.
you can always get back on the right road.
its just a matter of time.

i wonder if this helps at all.

just smile for once.
everything's going to be alright (:
someday.
somehow.

wow i wonder if anyone reads this shit anymore.
its been ages since i blogged and i miss it.

penning down random thoughts.

prom.
omg its over.
it was sooo fast.
the one thing that we all looked forward for, it definitely was one special night (:
i miss you already.

a rapidly changing life.
at first i was scared of so much change.
i was afraid of the pace.
but lets just go with the flow.
whats the worst, another heartbreak?

new year dawns upon us.
we all await in fright.
behold surprises.
screw it we going party like there's no tomorrow.

need to get my thoughts straight.
they're all over the place.
this helps.
lets get this out one by one.
ive a healed heart which is ready to embrace and get broken yet again.
i mean thats what its all about right.
getting stronger at the end of the day.
looking back and smiling knowing im glad i did it even though it hurt like hell.
because it was worth it.
you were worth it.
always will be.

two roads.
which to choose.
a typical dilemma.
oh brother, save me.

vying to be that one that you want.

alone in a dark night.
i used to cry.
smile my love, he whispered.
i'll always be there for you.

i must not get too attached.
the more that develops, the more painful it will be.

goodnight sleepyhead (: