i should be sleeping.
goddamn.
i dont know how im going to be able to get to normal sleeping.
grr.
tomorrow got council dance! (:
but sad i had to cancel plans with sis.
now i'll have to go by myself ):
haha sumi is so jealous of esme.
its kind of cute to watch.
but i get how she feels.
still she'll always be my darling (:
no one can replace her spot in my heart.
tomorrow.
yay (:
people always say its not the goodbyes that hurt.
but the memories which always remain.
well they're wrong.
goodbyes do hurt.
like hell.
its always the hardest part of it all.
the memories do hurt too but not as much as the goodbyes.
goodbyes hurt cause it is in that moment that you feel so much pain.
memories fade so after some time it doesnt hurt so much.
and for some people, their memories dont fade cause they're constantly thinking of them.
but the more you think of them, the less real they appear.
they would seem so faraway like they never were real.
but all just a dream.
so after some time it doesnt hurt as much either.
smile.
suddenly feel like doing so many things.
if only i had the time.
i have many plans for next year.
and i know that not all will happen.
but im hoping for it to be just awesome (:
definitely want it better than 2010.
hehe ive been doing baby freeze till my leg goes over my head.
somehow i just get this awesome feeling when i do it.
its like im going to slip cause im putting too much weight on one side.
but then i dont cause my other leg balances it out by being closer to the centre.
and i dont fall (:
kinda scared to do a head stand already.
did it earlier today and i didnt balance properly.
my neck was just a little bit tilted to the right.
ended crashing down to the right and my head bending inwards.
i swear i heard something crack.
then there was some pulling pain from the left side of my head to the neck.
but it faded after some time.
maybe i should try it on the bed next time.
okay i really should be sleeping now.
goodnight (:
i might lose my mind for awhile
but i'll be fine.
have you heard this thing that heals
and its called time.
clock can tick away
happy will fall in place.
and though my heart will break
a new me will fill the space.
