Live a Dream.

Friday, December 31, 2010 @ 12:26:00 AM

Unveiled

i should be sleeping.

goddamn.

i dont know how im going to be able to get to normal sleeping.

grr.

tomorrow got council dance! (:

but sad i had to cancel plans with sis.

now i'll have to go by myself ):

haha sumi is so jealous of esme.

its kind of cute to watch.

but i get how she feels.

still she'll always be my darling (:

no one can replace her spot in my heart.

tomorrow.

yay (:

people always say its not the goodbyes that hurt.

but the memories which always remain.

well they're wrong.

goodbyes do hurt.

like hell.

its always the hardest part of it all.

the memories do hurt too but not as much as the goodbyes.

goodbyes hurt cause it is in that moment that you feel so much pain.

memories fade so after some time it doesnt hurt so much.

and for some people, their memories dont fade cause they're constantly thinking of them.

but the more you think of them, the less real they appear.

they would seem so faraway like they never were real.

but all just a dream.

so after some time it doesnt hurt as much either.

smile.

suddenly feel like doing so many things.

if only i had the time.

i have many plans for next year.

and i know that not all will happen.

but im hoping for it to be just awesome (:

definitely want it better than 2010.

hehe ive been doing baby freeze till my leg goes over my head.

somehow i just get this awesome feeling when i do it.

its like im going to slip cause im putting too much weight on one side.

but then i dont cause my other leg balances it out by being closer to the centre.

and i dont fall (:

kinda scared to do a head stand already.

did it earlier today and i didnt balance properly.

my neck was just a little bit tilted to the right.

ended crashing down to the right and my head bending inwards.

i swear i heard something crack.

then there was some pulling pain from the left side of my head to the neck.

but it faded after some time.

maybe i should try it on the bed next time.

okay i really should be sleeping now.

goodnight (:

i might lose my mind for awhile

but i'll be fine.

have you heard this thing that heals

and its called time.

clock can tick away

happy will fall in place.

and though my heart will break

a new me will fill the space.

inspires

Tuesday, December 28, 2010 @ 12:07:00 AM

Envy

christmas was fantastic.
i got a wallet from eldest sister.
and earrings from the other.
haha nice timing (:
then i got MONEY.
yeahh.
had a log cake which was simply awesome and im gonna get fat if i dont stop eating it.
then had the party afterwards.
wasnt really that great but i felt good (:
after that off to malaysia.
by the time i reached home i was knocked out.
i just slept in the dress.

next day went SHOPPING.
though i didnt buy much.
but love the two tanks (:
and i had a great day too.

tomorrow mastery test.
damn i hope i pass.
if i dont i'll kill myself.
cause ive worked my ass off for this test.

wednesday going to meet my grandfather.
its my first time seeing him.
i wonder what he's like.

anybody wanna go library with me? (:
got to get some books.

i still havent entered for the contest.
i better do it soon.

should i wait or just go ahead?
hmmm.

school is starting in a week!
gosh.
that is freaking fast.
i cant believe a year has passed by so quickly.
we were just watching the last year countdown show sis hosted.
i still remember sitting there and making fun of her outfit.
and its a year already!
same time next year i'll be waiting for o's results.
god.

masked with the cloudiness of fading memories.
all that remains was the pain in her chest.
the numbing clarity in her mind was blurred.
she needed the final rest.
forcing body against will she left her last goodbye.
tear-streaked face she bore.
she knew her heart was beating for him.
so she took the plunge till the heart beat no more.

inspires

Thursday, December 23, 2010 @ 12:07:00 AM

Fairytale

yay i did my christmas shopping for sisters!

i really loved what i bought for them.

hope they will love it too (:
thank you soooo much DHAB!

i swear i will go someday with you to all the shops i dragged you away from.

im so sorry but i really had the time factor.

we will have lotsa fun when we go back yeah?

LOVE YOU DHAB (:

going to bet on my luck and try for the taylor swift concert tickets.

god i swear i would die if i really got it.

seriously.

she just gets better with each song and i really want to see her.

pray to god that i have some luck.

tomorrow i'll have to get my ass in school by 6.45.

seriously someone kill me.

im betting that i'll rush cause i woke up late.

its impossible to wake up 5 plus when i only get sleep at 3!

but its not like i dont want to sleep earlier.

i just cant.

dont know why.

i dont think its insomnia but yeah i just cant sleep.

im always wandering the house like a lifeless soul in the dark night.

im going to look like an auntie going to the market carrying so many things tomorrow.

have to bring xinhui's present which is already the bulk of it.

then blazer cause i've been keeping it for ages.

then the genting photos which i still owe kelly.

and my training stuff in case i finish early and can head for match.

gah.

but yay i'll be getting my primary school memories cd!

i lost it and thought would never see it again..

but its dhab to the rescue!

she has the disc so i can burn it.

and i swear i'll take better care of it this time (:

it was so fun painting banner again after so long.

just that the place is different.

it still just doesnt feel like council room ):

the old ASC room has just too many memories for me.

the new room just feels foreign.

and the most sickening part of it all is that they tiled up the old room.

like WTH.

we wasted all our time and effort scraping the paint off the floor.

trying to salvage what we could.

and then they just tile it over.

grr.

I MISS THE OLD ASC ROOM ):

still listening to taylor swift.

im just so in love with her and her music (:

her lyrics are the best.

i realise im the kind of person who loves the lyrics more than the song.

haha but she comes up with great lyrics and music so its just awesome (:

i was enchanted to meet you.

ahh its a beautiful song (:

this is me praying that this was the very first page.

not where the story line ends.

my thoughts will echo your name until i see you again.

these are the words i held back as i was leaving too soon

i was enchanted to meet you.

please dont be in love with someone else.

please dont have somebody waiting on you.

i'll spend forever wondering if you knew

i was enchanted to meet you (:

inspires

Tuesday, December 21, 2010 @ 12:14:00 AM

Frequencies

TAYLOR SWIFT CONCERT TICKETS ARE SOLD OUT.
her concet is in february.
akon's concert is in january.
AND HIS IS STILL SELLING.
i really wanted to see taylor swift ):

almost forgot it would be sec 1 registration this week.
haha so fast and there will be a new batch of juniors.
the only seniors would be the sec 5s.
gosh.

as usual going to do my last minute shopping for christmas.
anybody want to shop with me? (:

cant wait for the new year party!
gahhh.

and im already looking forward to chinese new year!
damn its going to fun.
the whole big family!
only person missing is her.
man i miss her ):
though i never really knew her well she was the only grandmother i really had.
the only one who saw me grow.
but she's gone.

CHRISTMAS. CHRISTMAS. CHRISTMAS!
i cant wait!
im already starting to sing carols.
hehe (:

and everybody's got someone they've lost,
and they cant believe they're really gone.
but you gotta live on,
yeah you gotta live on.

but i know things are gonna get better,
and i know things are gonna be fine.
and i know things are gonna get better.
life is gonna get better,
yeah we're gonna be fine.

inspires

Sunday, December 19, 2010 @ 10:59:00 PM

Only girl

i love my nails!

haha i keep staring at them.

but its so sad i'll have to remove it soon ):

im kind of halfway through all my homework.

haha i actually planned to finish everything in november.

but it didnt work out.

as long as i finish it by this week i should be fine (:

yesterday was the first wedding of all us cousins.

so 25 more to go!

haha and to think that some cousins are still in the making process.

jeez.

but it was nice yesterday.

felt good to see the whole family again.

though some were missing cause they couldnt get a flight back.

had a great time talking and catching up.

and poor keith is still in hospital.

hope he gets discharged soon.

and finally after a very long time i dressed up!

the kind that makes me feel good.

and yeah it was good.

wearing killer heels just tops it all off (:

after the wedding we played at mindcafe.

it was soooo funn!

haha and i didnt have to bother about laughing so loudly which i naturally do.

it was a really crazy night.

and i loved it (:

still looking at my nails.

haha they're just so gorgeous.

im lucky to have sisters which can spoil me.

only thing is that they dont cause they're just so strict.

damn.

but really, the colour is just so beautiful.

cant wait for CHRISTMAS!

wish i could go to church to see the procession but got the birthday party ):

but yay christmas!

wee (:

taylor swift concert on 9 february!!!!

oh god what i would do to just see her sing once live.

i really really realllly want to go for it.

but of course im not allowed.

i realise somehow the things i love are either just too farfetched or just not possible.

braced myself for the goodbye

cause that's all i've ever known.

and you took me by surprise

you said "i'll never leave you alone".

inspires

Friday, December 17, 2010 @ 1:47:00 AM

Last December

practising on my baby freeze.
nothing beats the feeling of accomplishment (:
have been trying it for awhile now already.
and finally i can do it.
next i'll try to do it with two feet in the air.
heehee.

school is going to reopen in like a few more weeks.
gosh.
im not even done with holiday homework!
*screams*
well at least i know im better at my a maths.
tuition really has helped.
left is the mastery test to prove it.

first week of school is going to be crazy.
last time ever i'll be involved in orientation ):
though i didnt want to be a ogl at first,
heck its my last year so i'll have a great time (:
then campfire!
omg i miss the high-ness.
cant wait for it now.

my emotions have been on a fine line of thread these days.
i get upset for no reason.
yeah i know its weird but it just happens.
after some time i'll snap out of it but its strange feeling upset for no reason.
then some days i just get so angry.
like if someone asks me a stupid question i just flare.
but of course i feel guilty later and apologize to that person.
i'll start writing again, maybe that'll help.

oh tgif.
finally can do some homework and find time for myself.

off to listen to music and force myself to sleep.
goodnight world (:

"now i have a purpose in life.
and thats to make sure my name is your reason to live.
i dont care how many other reasons there are to die.
promise me you'll stay alive though i could be the only reason for you to live.
cause trust me when i say it can be stormy now,
but it wont rain forever."
-my emily

inspires

Sunday, December 12, 2010 @ 4:19:00 PM

Silence

and touch the sky.

woo so long no blog.
haha.
been too caught up in my new obsession.
hehe (;

december is flying past.
way too fast.
next year its all or nothing.
2011 please be good to me..

2010 has been an awesome year.
really.
though its been one crazy and wild ride i enjoyed it.
i love all the new people i met.
i love all the old friends i caught up with.
i love all the darlings who stayed in my life till now.
thankyou guys (:

its been one year where really things have changed.
ALOT.
and honestly i dont think the year could have been better.
you guys really rocked it for me.
though there has been a fair share of tears and hurt,
it really has been great (:
2010, you were AWESOME.
yeah.

less than a month away and the crazy rush starts again.
haha omg attire check!
its going to be a few more months only.
im going to miss all of them so so much ):
my dear juniors, the seniors whom im already missing...
AND THE AWESOME CRAZY US ):
promise to meet and have study dates!
lets make the year such a memorable one (:

really, 2010 has been all about the people.
and me.
especially me.
haha i sound so bimbo talking about myself but i dont mean it in that sense.
i have changed alot.
i have my mind set.
i know what i want.
ive learnt more than i ever did in the past few years though ironically my grades have been dropping.
haha.
but really, thankyou so much for all of it.
all of you (:

and lastly you.
though you're not last of course.
and by you i mean the person who came in so quickly and was gone as fast.
thank you for all the moments we shared.
every single one of it.
you've given me so many moments to remember and smile back on (:
i hope i see you someday again.

did you ever have an addiction which killed you inside.
but you just had to succumb to it
as it engulfed you whole.
leaving no space to even breathe.
and each moment you spend on it,
you feel part of your soul break away
and join the heavenly skies.
and you're left in pieces.
broken so badly you just cant reassemble it.
but somehow its that addiction
which is the only thing that keeps you going.
the only thing
that keeps you alive.

how ironical.

inspires

Friday, December 3, 2010 @ 2:03:00 AM

hahahaha i found the rest of the photos on jessie's fb!
wakakakaka i like i like!
3/2 FTW!

inspires

Wednesday, December 1, 2010 @ 11:40:00 PM

Awesomeness

thank you.

yay i love today!
though i got wet.
like really wet.
so wet i was shivering by the time i got home.
and i burnt myself by stepping on hot charcoal.
hahahaha.
i feel so dumb.
but i still love today!
its just plain awesome.
i love my silly random but totally the best classmates (:

and the jap people came back!!!
AAHHHH!
like finally!
haha i missed her so much.
and today talking to you it felt better.
thank you my darling phang (:
i cant wait to talk more stories on friday!!!
gahhh hahah.

so tomorrow training then tuition.
god it still sounds weird for myself to say i got tuition.
im so not used to it.
and i dont like it.
grrr but nvm about 5 more months only (:
then friday school.
hope there'll be council!
already missed my monday dance session cause of freaking fever!
damn i hated it.
it was the worst ever.
but miraculously i recovered so soon!
hehe.
then saturday i'll study until night...
then my MEIMEI COMES OVER!
and then its gonna be hell of fun laterr!
i cant wait...teehee.
this week is going to be awesome.
and nothing is going to change that.
ta.

photos from today (:
didnt take much cause i was more fascinated by jessie camera.
heehee.
cant wait for her to upload!
but here's my part though its so pathetically little.