and the fear creeps up on me.

if i didnt have something worth living for,
i really would want to kill myself already.
pain everywhere.
no one is going to believe me.
but time does heal all wounds.
and im not going to be stupid again.

i want something.
i just dont know what.

im sick and tired of explaining to you.
my mouth hurts saying the same thing over and over again.
can you please listen for once?
stop your work and just look at me.
listen.
thats all i want.
i know you're busy.
and i know you do it for me.
but what's the point if you cant even listen to me talk?
forget it.
i bet you didnt even hear that.

i dont know what to do about you anymore.
i guess i can only wait for you to realise that im no more the small girl.
no more the little girl who was fascinated by fake promises.
no more the girl who could tolerate keeping it inside of herself.
cause by tolerating i only created more problems.
you thought i was going crazy.
well i was.
but you never cared to listen still.
just because im younger than you doesnt mean i dont know what other people feel.
im sensitive.
i understand her.
i want you to.
but of course, you think you're right.

i know you've sacrificed alot for me.
but please, its the small things that matter to me.

im fine.
i promise you that.
i just needed to let it out.



i hope you know how much you mean to me.
and what would happen to me if you left.
you're my pillar of strength, hope, love.
you're always embracing my thoughts.

so if you go,
i just want you to know
ive never met anyone like you before.